Unfortunately, money is often an issue in relationships. It might be a situation where one partner earns more money than the other or one that involves one person being a bigger spender than the other. Either scenario can easily lead to resentment on the part of one person within the relationship. Since the dawn of time, money has been one of the biggest — if not the biggest — issue in relationships.
Reasons Why Money Can Hurt Personal Relationships
Money can hurt personal relationships, especially unpredictable rough times. This includes not only romantic ones but friendships and even family relationships. However, it usually adversely affects dating relationships more than any other. This is usually prevalent when there is an issue of money inequality, which occurs when one person in the relationship makes considerably more money than the other. Sometimes, in that situation, that person pays the other partner’s way more often than not and it can become stressful or frustrating that can result in a fight.
Initially, the partner who earns less enjoys the situation. After all, they are getting great meals out, going to events and getting gifts they might otherwise never get. While this might be a good scenario for a while, especially during the earlier stages of the relationship, over time, it could work against both partners and cause a fight.
For example, if one person lends money to a friend or family member, especially without discussing it with the other, it can cause strain in the relationship. If the person earning less money does the lending, the one earning more might get angry because their partner didn’t consult with them first. On the other hand, if the one earning more money lends the money, the one earning less might feel resentful because they feel they are entitled to it. Either scenario can easily lead to fights and strain on the relationship.
Financial Stress in Relationships
When one person earns less money than the other in a relationship, the inequality can take a toll after a while. For instance, that partner may work fewer hours and be responsible for everyday household tasks as a result. The one who earns more typically works longer hours and therefore, cannot do the mundane chores their partner performs on a daily basis. The higher earner likely also is more tired and less inclined to go out and do fun things when the one who makes less wants to be social.
While it isn’t the higher earner’s fault when plans end up getting canceled at the last minute or they simply don’t have the time to do things, it can negatively impact the relationship regardless. It can lead to feelings of resentment on the part of the lower earner. Meanwhile, the higher earner may begin to feel guilty even though it isn’t their fault.
Alternatives to Lending Friends and Family Members Money
Instead of one partner lending money to friends or family members, they can keep the peace within their romantic relationship by suggesting alternatives. If you find yourself in a financial pinch without enough savings to cover the unexpected emergency, know that there are alternative options you might want to consider, such as credit cards and installment loans online. You can learn more about your options by searching the companies that offer them or consulting with your local financial institution for the options they offer in emergencies. If an installment loan is necessary, you should consider paying it off as quickly as possible. You can check with an agency at the bank and see if you can make larger payments so you can clear that debt off your list. It is wise to know all of your options if you are looking to keep your finances separate from your family and friends.
Financial Issues and Dating
It’s important for two people to be honest about their money situation when they start dating. Honesty is the best policy, after all, and lying at the start of a relationship can only spell doom.
Money can be an icing on the cake in a healthy relationship. It can help pay for a getaway vacation together or buy a house and start a family. If you decide to date someone because he or she is financially set and able to provide for you then forget the love or having a fulfilling relationship. Little by little, you’ll end up feeling empty inside and money won’t fill that emptiness for you. There’s a saying, money can’t buy love. No matter how corny that sounds, it is true. Dating someone with millions of dollars won’t make you feel butterflies in your stomach, though you might think that you’ll be able to do more things and have a little more freedom, it still isn’t the same. You should consider dating someone for who they are, not by how much money they have. Additionally, if the person earning more money ends up being abusive, it can put the one earning less in danger and a situation difficult to escape.
Another thing to strongly consider is that both partners should pay for things on occasion. Switching off or even splitting can help to improve the relationship where finances are concerned. So talk to your partner when you two go out and figure out whether you two are able to split checks or pay off the entire bill so one of you can save and alternate the next time you guys go out or need to pay for anything. Also, if you plan on going out to a dinner or any sort of restaurant during the day, decide how the bill will get paid and who will leave the tip. These are just the little things that you can do to help relieve financial stress that can occur but they can go a long way so make sure to communicate with your partner about it.
Being smart about finances is the best way to preserve your relationship. Remember, you have to keep your partner’s feelings and wishes in mind no matter what the situation, just make sure to communicate with each other as it can go a long way.