We wrote this article with the help of our collaborator and life coaching expert Brian.
When you begin dating someone, everything seems so new and exciting. Every time you see them it’s like fireworks just go off and your love life is very satisfying. Unfortunately, this new feeling does not last and eventually, the thrill is gone.
As a life and relationship coach, I work with many individuals who face this challenge. For example, I currently have one client who wrote to me about his s*x life completely dwindling. Here is what he told me:
“My girlfriend and I have been dating for about 1.5 years now and our s*x life is completely dead. When we first started dating we would be intimate about three to four times a week and now it’s down to zero.
The last time we made love was almost six months ago. I’m dying here. And as young as we are, we should be intimate at least a couple of times a week. She blames herself. She is never in the mood and I know for a fact she is not cheating on me or anything. But my emotional drive is over the roof! I have talked to her on many occasions about this and all she tells me is that she’s just not in the mood sometimes, which really means all the time. Not only that but we don’t even make out or anything anymore. I feel like we are growing apart and I am afraid that I will end up cheating on her. What should I do?”
If this has ever happened to you, rest assured that you are not alone. Sadly, this is quite common in many relationships from all over the world. Intimacy and lovemaking is the backbone of any relationship. Without it, you are just “good friends”. So it is understandable why this gentleman is frustrated about not being intimate with his partner anymore.
If you ever find yourself in this situation, you must get to the root cause of what is driving this behavior. Some of the main reasons why people become less s*xual are the following:
1. They are sleeping around with someone else
When someone begins sleeping with someone else, their s*xual needs are met and they no longer have as much desire as they would normally have. So take the time to find out if they are sleeping around.
2. They are upset with you and have not let go
When someone is upset with you, it is very hard for them to want to be intimate with you. Therefore it is important that you take the time to resolve whatever issues you may have.
3. They are overwhelmed and stressed out
Very often people become stress and overwhelmed with their work or family life. When this happens, their libido drops considerably because their mind is being filled with things that keep them occupied.
4. They have a poor diet
Proper nutrition is critical for a healthy emotional drive. If your partner is eating too much sugar or junk food, it can drastically affect their desire for being intimate.
Whatever the case may be, it is important that you take the time and have the compassion to work through this issue with your partner in a calm way. Remember, a long-lasting relationship is a marathon and not a sprint. There will be many ups and downs along the way so it is important that you invest the time to resolve these things.
If you are interested in getting help, then try working with a life coach here.